10 Fifty Shades of Grey Statements that Sound Obnoxious if Translated in Hindi

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This post has explicit content. Do not read it, if you get offended easily. These lines are not a figment of my imagination, but straight out of a book called 50 Shades of Grey. The movie is about to release in English and we thought, “What if it’s released in Hindi too?” and came up with this:

1. Tumhari paristhiti, Ana, main tum se pyaar karne wala hoon, abhi.

English Translation: "Your situation, Ana, I am going to make love to you, now."

Huh, what!

2. Muje nahi pata ke main tumhari pooja karu ya tum ko peechvade pe maaru.

English Translation: "I don’t know whether to worship at your feet or spank you."

#rofl 

3. Muje lagta hai ki tum meri hatheli main fadkan paida kar rahi ho.

English Translation: "I do believe that you are making my palm twitch."

This sounds soooo #corny

4. Kyunki main pachaas rango ka ch*d* hua hoon.

English Translation: "Coz I am 50 shades of fucked up"

This epic sentence sounds so-not-epic in Hindi

5. Tumhari chadi main ghat mat lagao…aur muje meri de do.

English Translation: "Don't get your panty in such a twist... and give me back mine."

Don't ever say that!

6. Meri andar ki mata ne naachna band kar diya aur muje goor rahi thi, muh khula hua aur thoda laar tapakta.

English Translation: "My inner goddess has stopped dancing and is staring, too, open mouthed and drooling slightly."

Arrgghhh...sounds so disgusting!

7. Mera poora badan kap kappa raha tha, maine mera sar upar kiya aur phir maine chor diya.

English Translation: "I shudder and groan in ecstasy, thrashing my head about as I detonate my release."

this sounds like a hindi 'B' Grade porn movie 

8. Meri aankhe Christian ke toothbrush par padi. Aisa laga ke woh mere muh main hain. Hmm…

English Translation: "I eye Christian's toothbrush. It would be like having him in my mouth. Hmm…"

#lol #yuck

9. Ab muje samaj aaya ki itna batangad kiss liye hai. Do baar charam anand ke baad, aisa lagta hai ki kisi ne muje washing machine main guma diya hai.

English Translation: "Now I know what all the fuss is about. Two orgasms… coming apart at the seams, like the spin cycle on a washing machine, wow."

#justcan'thandleitanymore #toofunny

 

10. Hey bhagwan…maine-abhi-ch*d*-hai jaisi chotiyan muj pe aachi nahi lagti hai.

English Translation: "Holy crap…just f*cked pigtails do not suit me either."

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8 comments

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30 Mar 2015
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