1. Yo! Where’s my bottle?

Is that bottle washed?

Nightmarish to say the least. New moms are obsessed with everything for the baby – clean diapers, clean sheets, clean crib, clean bottles, clean everything – even the hubby and the dog are kept miles away from the baby! But the most important - the bottle. The damn hot water used to clean the bottle has destroyed the nipple. How would the baby drink?

2. Keep your evil eyes off my baby!

Cursed people, keep away!

Every new mom is super obsessed with this one. From kohl rimmed eyes in some cultures to over dressing their babies with layers, even if there is a slight breeze outside – babies are victims of over protection!

3. Poop monster alert!

Dear new mom, you have an OCD!

Even if you didn't have it pre-birth, you're now a raging cleanliness OCD monster. Beware, you cannot walk into the new mom's home or wander around the crib, not unless she certifies you CLEAN!

4. Did someone say PARTY!

No more bashes and parties at your place – new moms have enough on their plate already. And the place needs to be quiet, serene and CLEAN! You don’t want your baby crawling in trash; not even the sight of it would do!

5. Want to have a baby - really?

Friends who care are few and far between - having a baby teaches you that. New moms who need to shower or run errands wouldn’t have a ‘friend’ ready to sit the baby or clean their poop, when need be. They don’t have kids, so how can they know what new mom's are going through. 

6. I have my eyes on you fellas!

Prior to having your baby, your pet was your baby – sometimes a dirty monster running around. New moms have an eye on Lassie and Sparkles now, just incase they rouse the devil from his/her crib. Baby's nap time = new mom's peace. And pet's can shatter that peace into pieces if allowed anywhere near the crib. 

7. Catch 22 in public, eh!

"Poop, baby, poop, we're home right now." But baby no do poop.

"No baby don't poop, we're in restaurant." And there it is. Annoying, frustrating, embarrassing, smelly!

8. Hey, I am driving!

Driving with the baby, managing them to sit still and yet not have a pile-up behind is a toughie. Challenging as it seems, new moms face that all too often!

9. Did you have to sleep, and NOW!

Failed at #9, imagine the baby staying awake and jolly through the drive, only to fall asleep as you park the car in the garage. What should you pick first? The baby or the bags of groceries!

10. Kill me please!

Baby asleep – peace! Trying to bring the sleeping baby to the crib from the car with Lassie and Sparkles following you is like watching a thriller or being in one. If baby wakes up now, you can bid adieu your sleep. Baby's going to be awake till 9 PM. Cut to 2 AM and he/she is still wide awake.

Sleep deprived, are you?