6 Ways to Celebrate Valentine's Day with Hindu Mahasabha's Blessings

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Valentine's day is around the corner, and the media is exploding with articles about the Hindu Mahasabha (it's their period of limelight, this time of the year). Let's take a look at six things that you must do to impress the men who are keeping the Hindu ideology alive in a democratic society.

1. Make war, not love.

Yes, they will appreciate you, if you are bullying, beating the shit out of someone or forcefully binding two people in marriage. They are always ready for the 'Bash'!

2. Let the Pandit tag along with you on Valentine's Day.

Just in case they ask you to get married, you atleast have a choice of your Pandit. 

3. Gifting roses and chocolates is passe; gift your woman a belan.

The Hindu Mahasabha believe in not giving a woman too much independence. Gifting a belan would reconfirm to the Hindu Mahasabha, that we are still following our traditions.

4. Do not go for romantic movies, instead go watch MSG (Messenger of God).

Dharmic movies should be on your agenda on Valentine's Day. This list doesn't include Kamasutra. And if you were thinking of 50 Shades of Grey, then rest assured, be ready to see Hindu Mahasabha's Red Room.

5. Profess your love on Facebook, Twitter and Whatsapp to anyone you want to get married.

Are you still pining over that girl/boy who doesn't give you attention? All you need to do to get married is update your status and inform the Mahasabha, they will do the needful.

6. Ditch the fancy restaurants and coffee shops, have chai and vada paav at a roadside stall.

The Hindu Mahasabha cares about inflation.

So how would you choose to celebrate your Valentine? Any of these, or you have something even more radical up your sleeve. I'm all ears.

 

Also Read

10 Fifty Shades of Grey Statements That Sound Obnoxious if Translated in Hindi

Ten Ways In Which You Should Definitely Not Break Up With Someone

Top 10 Ways in Which You Should Definitely Not Propose to a Girl 

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