9 Simple Things Every Girl Really Wants

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And you thought we were complex!

1. All Food Sould be Fat Free

Yes, we love them and we want to have them. Fat free versions of things like pizza, pasta and garlic bread. How can we forget all those cake and pastries we try avoiding with a heavy heart.

2. Magical Bikini

Which hides the rolls of fat, saggy breasts and makes you look like a runway Victoria's Secret model. Oh, if only they spent money on inventing something more useful than sending men in space.

3. Bath to Remember

A long, hot cozy bath. That means no knocking at the bathroom door. Just the music and us.

4. And A Nice, Clean Bathroom

Which is dry, and doesn't have towels all over the floor, dirty underwear hanging behind the door, and blobs toothpaste dripping over the basin counter - all thanks to the freak you call life partner. Or the monsters you call children. 

5. A 24*7 Personal Assistant For Help

Someone who picks after you. Lays things before you. Gives it to you in your hand (get the cheap thoughts out of your head already). Reminds you about things. And if you still forget, goes ahead and does it.

Men have these assistants. They're called wives. Where is our Man Friday?

6. Gucci, Prada and Armani Filled Wardrobe

A wardrobe to suit every occasion. That's a dream. But in reality we make do with a pile that almost seems so last generation. Makes us feel old beyond our years.  

7. Foreplay That Would Last More Than Two Minutes

No, we don't have that frekish ability to be always turned on. Good things take time. And two minutes of mauling our breasts is not it. Here's a secret. Most girls love Foreplay more than sex. We are more than the Big 3, which clearly a man's world revolves around.

See, we have neck, perfect for kissing. And lower back. And, woman, blessed are you if your man has discovered that spot at the back of the knee.

8. Oral Sex Smells of Chocolate

Yes, guys we absolutely hate it, but can’t tell it to your face. So here's praying to god that it starts smelling like chocolate. 

9. Babies Would Come From Vending Machine

As much as we want babies, could there not have been a better way than shooting it out from a place which is 1/10th its size. Like why does something so beautiful have to be bone breaking?For all of God's marvellous engineering, we must say, you got this totally wrong.

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