Sunsets are so beautiful. I wish they would never end.
The more I explore, the more I realize how beautiful this world is.
I saw her again today, as I stood near the coffee house. She looked beautiful as ever, with her golden hair, natural blush, those mesmerizing eyes and that smile, Oh I would give anything,everything, for that smile. She smiled as she walked past me and I went into a trance as her scent reminded me of the field of Irises. I was tempted to call her, talk to her, but maybe I never will, as I knew I couldn't get too attached. But it maybe too late. I followed her casually, as she met up with her friends but instead of going out for a fun night, they volunteered at the retirement home. It was here that I first saw her, taking care of the old, making them laugh and singing to them. She had the most amazing voice, it could calm even the most ravenous of monsters ,it could baptise you, rid you of all your sins. The thought gave me hope, but, I was too stained to be cleansed now.
I don't regret the things I've done. I did what had to be done and if I started to regret, I fear that may start to lose my sanity. I keep my distance from people, never interacting and always observing in silence. I've learnt to be invisible in a crowd, undetectable like a ghost, though I doubt even ghosts can completely blend without leaving behind a physical footprint. My job makes me do things that most people wouldn't understand and I've come across people of near about every type. Some make you want to gut them alive, while there are few like Sarah, who bring joy to even a soulless person like myself. My entire life I've never been afraid, nor of God or the Devil. I've laid havoc without a second thought. But now I fear that my feelings for Sarah might bring her harm.
I strolled through the lobby, looking at the elderly, watching them cheer up the moment they saw her. Was this sorcery? Or just her aura, I cannot decide. Then she saw me, I don't know how, I don't know why, but I couldn't hide anymore. She walked towards me, paralyzing me with her smile. It was impossible, but it seemed she saw through my pain as her eyes softened while she asked me my name. I hesitated but said to her,"Azrael". "Well that's a pretty unusual name! Would you like to join us?" Maybe I was silent for too long, or maybe I had subconciously said YES because then she ushered me to the dining table, where people were getting ready for supper. "Everyone, this is..uh..Oz" she said looking at me with a mischievous smile. "Like the Wizard?" someone asked. "Yeah exactly like the wizard, Alan" Sarah replied. "Enough of that, let's eat!". I had never felt so welcome, so warm in long, long time. After supper, I wanted to quietly leave, but Sarah never left my side. And as her friends left, she turned to me and said,"I need someone to walk me home!". "But I'm a complete stranger. How can you trust me?",I replied. "No, you're not a stranger. You work at the coffee house, right?", she said. My eyes widened as I realized that all this time, I was never invisible, not to Sarah. We walked down the empty streets in the cold, dark night, as she told to me about her day, her life and her dreams and it felt like she wanted me to open up too. Time passed by too quick and we reached her place, without me saying a word. "Sorry for the trouble! And thanks!" she said. I nodded, "Good Night". "Good Night, Oz". I watched as she climbed the stairs to her apartment, and just before entering, she turned and shouted,"I'll see you around, right?" All I could manage was a smile. Why was it so hard? Why did it take such an effort to smile? Maybe it was because of the realization that I could never be with her, that maybe, I never will see her again, because it was against the laws of nature.
I can't be with you Sarah, my love, because my presence will corrupt you. I can't be with you, because, I'm something that you should stay away from. I'm called by many names, Azrael being one of them. Some call me Samael, Mors, Orcus, The Grim Reaper. I can't be with you Sarah, because the moment you're with me, you seize to exist. For I am what humans fear, I am the final destination, I AM......Death.
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